Bush-ism 1- On enemies

Its best to face your enemy head-on, face to face, this way you know what's coming

I have begun an enchanted life along the lines of what Karen Blixen or Kuki Gallman might have experienced in their Africa time. The only difference is I am neither an aristocrat nor am I from Europe. I am African discovering Africa as an adult, coming to terms with is savage beauty, harsh realities and superstitious parallel existence. I look forward to look out of myself and see something I like, I look forward to challenging myself in varied tests of endurance both physical and cerebral. I look forward to live with no constraints and to release myself from whatever holds me back from being truly free, truly unafraid, truly alive. I may never achieve my goals, but I know I will never walk this way again and I will never have this opportunity presented to me in this way again so I must use it. The difference between here and elsewhere is the horizon is always further and wider afield, I have so much space to breathe, dream, err and run, laugh, cry and possibly love. I hesitate with the last one for I wish to be liberated from what ruled and controlled me. It seems I have existed thus far for 3 things, to make money, succeed and to find love. That has been my definition of beauty, of happiness and joy. But perhaps I am not as narrow as I allowed myself to be. Perhaps there is more to me, perhaps I am really interesting and multi dimensional, perhaps I really am my own person with unique thoughts, feelings and desires, perhaps I truly am destined for greatness -whatever that is. Perhaps this is an opportunity to find out and come to some sort of realization. So my fear is that of finding out that there is really not much to me, that perhaps I need to identify with someone in order to locate myself as a full being.